Clare London (clarelondon) wrote,
Clare London

JAN 12 : Just one more confession...?

Welcome today to 1more_sickpuppy, avid reader and generous supporter of our online original and fanfic communities.

Now, I've never been one to talk about things that could be construed as even vaguely embarrassing

But she will to us, bless her! ^_~
Here is On Coming Out.

And I think you'll find it a viewpoint that's both familiar and... SHARED by many of us!

On Coming Out

Hello everyone, I'm Josie and I'm addicted to slash.

The other day kitzheng covered kinks we try not to talk about in decent company, and on that note I got to thinking about coming out. As a slasher and/or as a reader of fanfiction. Because I am still firmly barricaded in my closet. I have very rarely felt any inclination at all to reveal to RL people that I am and do those things online. And they do wonder sometimes, they ask me what the heck I spend all those hours on the computer doing??

Now, I've never been one to talk about things that could be construed as even vaguely embarrassing. As a child I never told my parents anything and my best friend only some things, I hated showing stories I wrote and certain pictures I drew. I know that for some people the whole fic thing is not about coming out because they were never in the closet to begin with. And for many their family and closer friends are in the know. I seem to have a lot of Flisters who have awesome, open minded, supportive men/husbands, a few of which even get a kick themselves out of the boy-on-boy thing! If I ever settle down, I sooo want one of those. In all fairness, my ex would have gladly greeted just about anything that turned me on enough so he got laid, but I just can't see that most of the guys I know, would.

Me, I have a password-locked user on the PC so people (who seem to love getting on my computer) won't see my internet bookmarks, I've recently moved all downloaded fic and boy-pics onto my external HD which isn't usually hooked up, and I do not talk about it. Why? Probably because I know all the prejudice I used to hold against fanfic readers back when I first heard of it, and I don't want people to think of me that way. Which is kind of terrible. Not everyone is as damn critical as me, and when I feel it can pass, I even do try to casually insinuate the idea of girls liking m/m into the minds of straightlaced folks, but that's different. There's Brokeback Mountain now.

There are two girl friends I've been close to telling, one I'm pretty sure would be right there with me because we had a similar thing going over film when we were 10. I came this close to sending her links to Buffy/Spike het that would have been right up her alley. And my current best friend, she could get into some fandom stuff I think, and she's seen the light of m/m sex. She noticed I had 'Queer As Folk' soundtrack music and 4 weeks later had watched all of the Brit and the US series - left me in the dust! She was fangirling like crazy and I almost started nudging her towards online Fandom.

I guess to me QaF was a legit way of perving because it was an official, produced TV show, but in the end things cooled off before I grew enough balls to clue her in. She actually suspects I keep part of my computer locked because I'm downloading porn! Uh, regular porn, I mean. The kicker is, I'd almost rather let her think that than say 'right now I'm reading mostly original slash of varying erotic levels and talking to fellow slashers and fen'. I'd have to explain what it means, yeah, but she and I can readily admit to each other that we're pervs and that's ok, so... I've gone so far as to half-seriously say I have a secret online life, just to explain my online time.

Why, oh why do I feel so self-conscious about fandom, collecting lurvely man pics and reading fic? It's a real nuisance having to shut all browser windows in a panic when your best friend or boyfriend appear. You're probably wondering by now if I'm making a point. I'm not. I'm just flailing, maybe crying for help. How did you come out? How exactly did you tell your friends, your significant others, and how did they react?

~ Jo, just another sick puppy.


Follow this month with Clare (yes, it's all about the MEEEE...):

Week 2 :
Jan 09 : ravensilver describes the creativity of independent manga publishing - and the challenges...
Jan 10 : kitzheng talks about Kink...
Jan 11 : chrissy munder shares the struggles of writing, NC17 penguins and mantyhose...

Jan 01 : the Cheeky Cherubs welcome us to 2009 with a pithy verse or two and the threat of piercings...
Jan 02 : sweet, sexy fiction from lilzazu, all about the perennially tricky problem of a sticky shift...
Jan 03 : excellent editing tips for all authors who ever wondered whether to be cruel to be kind to their prose, hosted by jolilightner...
Jan 04 : Clare pimps the fabulous I DO anthology, now available in ebook and all proceeds to Lambda...
Jan 05 : abstractrx ponders the changing role of Romance and its reflection of - or on?! - the society around it...
Jan 06 : FREE FICTION from me and my friends!
Jan 07 : Jordan Castillo Price discusses what tempts us to try out a new author...
Jan 08 : Clare rambles on about perceived plagiarism and posts excerpts of her Torquere titles...

Want to grab a day to pimp, pose or pontificate? Comment HERE!!
Tags: blog, blog month, community, m/m world

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