January 30th, 2011



Today's guest is Jessewave, whose website Reviews by Jessewave is a great resource and entertainment for everything m/m. She's sharing some of the entertaining and thought-provoking reasons that she loves m/m.


Why I love Gay Men and M/M Romance

When Clare asked me to write a post to celebrate her birthday this month I had no clue what to write and I understood first hand what writer’s block was like as I stared at the empty page. I have no problem writing posts for my site – they seem to appear like magic in my funky brain, but writing for someone else is an entirely different can of worms. So what to write? Last time I did this, Clare had to change the designation of her Livejournal to “adult” for the first time and I wanted to make sure that didn’t happen this time, but it’s so hard. Then I had an idea …..

It’s obvious that I love M/M romance but most of you don’t know why. So I’m going to try and explain.

First of all, while I love the hot guys, that’s not the real reason (okay it’s part of the reason). . I love gay men because so many of them are my friends. I also love that they are coming into their own especially in some countries of North America, Britain, as well as other countires in Europe, and are getting respect just like the rest of society. Sure these are small steps and the road is still a very bumpy one, but slowly they are getting some love, and M/M characters while they are not real, demonstrate that gay men are pretty cool. The books are a few more bricks in the wall.

I remember the very first time I met someone who was gay one-on-one. I was an adult (hey, I had a sheltered upbringing – lapsed Catholic and all the baggage that entailed) – he was my secretary, Jamie. He was what you would call a twink today and he didn’t care who didn’t like the fact that he was flamboyant. I loved him for being himself and when I got to really know him I realized that he was no different from anyone else just more fun *light bulb moment.* He was such a vibrant, sweet person that he started my ‘love affair’ with gay men, which continues today. He taught me more than I ever wanted to know (that’s a whole other topic), but that knowledge sure comes in handy now. .

Since Jamie, I have met many other gay men, and like everyone else with whom I have come into contact, some I liked a lot, and others ..... not so much. One was a very dear friend who died over 12 years ago but the rest are still around to kick my butt, and now that I have a website that focuses on gay men they give me advice all the time and tell me what I’m doing wrong. :)

So here’s the purpose of this rambling post. How many of you who read or write M/M romances have gay friends or even know a gay man? How well do you know them individually, not as some faceless group of people in real life, or as a character in an M/M romance, but as real people? What do you like about the person you know? Is it his sense of humour? For me it was Jamie’s love of life and Phil’s kickass sense of humour .... the others have their own reasons why I care about them. Do you share secrets with your gay best friend if you have one? For example, if your BF dumped you would you ask your friend for advice about what went wrong and how to get back up? Would you go out to the movies or a night on the town with a gay man? What about inviting him to a BBQ at your place with your straight friends? Have you ever had an afternoon or evening out to watch a game at a local pub with a gay friend? What about an invitation to your place to watch a movie? How about an occasional lunch date? Shopping? Do you treat gay men differently because they are gay? If so, in what way?

I’m sure you have stories to tell. Maybe about the first boy you dated and then found out that he wasn’t really into girls. ^_^ What do you think is the fascination that so many straight women have with gay men?


Follow this month with Clare - and the goodies so far:

JAN 25: The release of the anthology WISHING ON A BLUE STAR at Dreamspinner Press.
JAN 26: The ornery muse who plagues bittermint!
JAN 27: The exotic illustrations that inspire author Cornelia Grey.
JAN 27: The 5 favourite tropes of tracyrae.
JAN 28: FREE FICTION DAY, including new stories and links to plenty of others. Follow my LJ-tag "free fiction day" to find all 13 posts.
JAN 29: The scene-stealing delight of a well-written secondary character, by lee_rowan.

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