January 13th, 2011



Today's guest is another fellow Brit, the talented author charliecochrane. She's sharing some of her special family sayings and jokes. I suspect many of us have similar examples, including me - and I'm going to embarrass myself with some of them in the comments... :)


Bio: As Charlie Cochrane couldn't be trusted to do any of her jobs of choice - like managing a rugby team - she writes. Her favourite genre is gay fiction, predominantly historical romances/mysteries, but she's making an increasing number of forays into the modern day. She's even been known to write about gay werewolves, albeit highly respectable ones.

She was named Author of the Year 2009 by the review site Speak Its Name but her family still regard her writing with a fond indulgence, just as she prefers.

Charlie's Cambridge Fellows Mysteries Series, set in Edwardian England, is available through Samhain, and she has stories in the anthologies 'Encore Encore', 'Past Shadows', 'I Do' and 'I Do Two' (MLR), 'Queer Wolf' (Queered Fiction), 'Speak Its Name' (Cheyenne) and 'Last Gasp' (Noble).

Charlie's website.
Charlies's email: cochrane.charlie2@googlemail.com

Samhain buy link (be patient, as they're currently updating their bookstore) here.
Charlie's Author Page at Amazon.com.


I was inspired by 1more_sickpuppy’s post about local sayings; it made me think about the things we say chez Cochrane, and whether they’re unique to us. Some of them must be – I can’t imagine any other family says “Go for it, Marjorie!” when one of us wants to attempt something ambitious.

That comes from way back in prehistory, my in-laws playing golf with friends and the aforesaid Marjorie being urged by her hubby to attempt an impossible shot. Now it’s part of Cochrane folklore, as is the (also golf based) exhortation to “Keep walking!” (or, in its full form, “In the words of your uncle, keep walking!”, used when we need to get away from the scene of the crime, either ours or someone else’s. Refers to a wayward golf shot which flew over a fence and bounced along a row of parked cars.

I’m fairly certain other people use the expression, “I haven’t laughed so much since we mowed the cat” or its variation, “I haven’t laughed so much since Granny caught her tit in the wringer.” The cat expression usually goes into its fuller form:

“I haven’t laughed so much since we mowed the cat.”

“We haven’t got a cat.”

“Not since we mowed it.”

Can’t help feeling we got that from a comedy show, as we got other Cochrane catch phrases. There’s ne’er a spillage in the household without a cry of, “Granville! Fetch a cloth.” Or,“M-m-moppet, poppet.” Both of them from ‘Open All Hours’, along with the classic line we employ, especially regarding women and rugby players, “She was molesting his hands with her body.”

How many other families (there must be lots of them) can’t help saying - when an ambulance goes past, blues and twos going – “He’ll never sell any ice-cream going at that speed!”? Eric Morecambe...we love you.

Clearly some ‘in-house’ expressions are almost a code, indecipherable to the outside world, a sort of shorthand to save long winded explanation. All Cochranes know where ‘The place we swam outside in the rain’ is and ‘the place which has chickens which doesn’t have chickens any more’ makes sense to us. “The day Dad was mugging people” refers to an incident when no-one was actually mugged; we were in a hotel lobby, awaiting a taxi and Mr C looked like he was about to molest strangers and force them to take us to the airport.

Exaggeration, skilful embroidering of the tale, is part of the fun. “The day Mary Parkinson chatted up Dad,” refers to nothing more heated than her asking him for the golf score and a brief discussion of the virtues of Messrs Woosnam and Faldo. “The day Mum got drunk and set the restaurant on fire,” is a vile embellishment of an incident involving one or two glasses of wine and a mild incendiary incident.

Anyone want to share their own in-house argot?



Like to stretch your writing fingers after Christmas' excesses? Take the prompt "A NEW RESOLUTION" and write something for the visitors this month. It can be anything from a flashfic 3 sentences to a drabble of 100 or so, or even more. Any genre, any theme, any rating, any character(s). Maybe ones you already love, maybe the chance to try on a new character for size.

Depending on how many (if any!) contributions we get, I'll post them during the month or all in the last week. Just send them in to me at clarelondon11 AT yahoo.co.uk and we'll go from there :).


Follow this month with Clare - and the goodies so far:

JAN 08: A great new novel and sequel from mickieashling.
JAN 09: Fiction and beautiful illustrations from essayel.
JAN 10: New menage release from lc_chase.
JAN 11: Fabulous mix of SF and erotic romance from Sloane Taylor and Robert Appleton.
JAN 12: Follow the bizarre photographic history of Wind in Hair Guy with egret17.

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Check up on the original post and the Guest Schedule for January HERE.

Want to join in but missed the original call? Email me at clarelondon11 AT yahoo.co.uk and I'll happily find you a space ♥

NOTE: most pictures chosen by me and credited where known, others may be used without direct permission, please contact me with any queries/concerns.


The lovely Chris is returning the blog favour and featuring a giveaway contest for my upcoming short story, Threadbare. Just comment on her post to be entered into the draw, open until Jan 21 RIGHT HERE.

Buy it in ebook at JMS Books from January 23.

BLURB: When Edward inherits the family textile mill from his deceased parents, he knows where his duty lies. As a young Victorian gentleman, he devotes himself to the family business and doing right by his customers and employees. What concern is it that he surrenders his own artistic ambitions and romantic passions?

But a hideous accident at the mill one day brings him into close contact with Mori, one of his most productive workers, a beautiful yet seemingly delicate and vulnerable young man. Edward takes Mori under his protection, bringing him back to his house. At last, Edward has found a friend and companion. His fascination for Mori grows swiftly into love, and he’s drawn out of his quiet introspection into a world of delight and passion.

Yet Mori has a private task that both baffles and concerns Edward: the completion of a stunningly beautiful, abstract tapestry. Edward doesn’t understand its significance, Mori’s devotion to it, or Mori’s strange behaviour when Edward tries to part the man from his mission. Mori loves him in return, he’s sure – but can that ever be enough? As Edward is tangled more deeply and irretrievably into the web of Mori’s love and mystery, what bittersweet price might he have to pay?

Note: this was previously included in my anthology "Masquerade", which is no longer available.


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